Decoding the code..

Decoding the code of a man is like decoding the language from another planet.

Remember that book "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" it could be very well the case. Looking back at my life, just pressing rewind makes me reminisce on the purity of innocent love. It is the love we allow ourselves to acquaint young selves with before we experience betrayal and hurt.

Looking at the woman I am today after such battle scars. I have realized that yes there are happy endings but I will not bet too much money on landing one. Yeah, yeah oh wow is me. Do not feel pity on me because I cannot feel pity on myself. Unhealthy relationships are my middle name. Look at this I spent the last decade of my life with a man who cannot even commit to himself. Decode it... I laugh. Blame him, more so I blame myself. The time is coming when I start to prioritize and put myself first, but how do you do that when you spend your entire existence putting yourself last.

I tried to decode the language of the male species, even actually started behaving similarly because of the ease in lifestyle. I realize how miserable it made me feel.

Men from Mars.. I think that they have a deficiency and yes there are perfect relationships out there.. just do not know if I will really have the opportunity in this lifetime to experience it. Worn out, yes I am. What I fear most is that because of my experiences I will sabotage my own happiness in return for shelter from the storm we call relationships.
Decode men I shall not, but I will find the time to decode myself and discover the pure and innocent person that has been buried in the rubble of the relationship earthquake.